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AH Cover Letter Critique Request

September 14, 2009

Jeff Smith, Executive Assistant to the President/CEO
Crittenton Women’s Union
Two Washington Mall, Second Floor
Boston, MA 02108

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am applying for the Administrative Office Internship opportunity. I found out about Crittenton Women’s Union from a staff member named Kristen Blocker.

I earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration from Fitchburg State College. I have over three years of administrative support experience. I have advanced software knowledge in Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft PowerPoint, and Microsoft Outlook while I have beginner software knowledge in Microsoft Access. At the Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory, I used Microsoft Word to create foreign trip reports in which I revised and added missing information. After creating them in Microsoft Word, I converted foreign trip reports into Adobe PDF documents.

I would appreciate the opportunity to come in for an interview to discuss the Administrative Office Internship. I will contact you in a couple of days to schedule an appointment for an interview.


Here is a copy of the ad:
Administrative Office Intern

The Administrative Office Intern will assist the Executive Assistant and other Administrative Staff in carrying out administration functions.

Intern duties will include:

· Provide administrative assistance by performing the following tasks: copying, filing, and organizing of materials
· Answer telephones as necessary
· Prepare documents in Microsoft Word and Excel

Knowledge and Skills Required:
· Experience working with Microsoft Word
· Ability to work in a professional office environment
· Organizational skills
· Experience working with diverse populations

Shifts Available: 20 hours weekly, times are flexible.
Internship level: Undergraduate/Graduate students encouraged to apply.
Pay level: Volunteer/non-paid
Location: Two Washington Mall, Second Floor, Boston, MA 02108

Comments for AH Cover Letter Critique Request

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Sep 23, 2009
Too "You" Focused
by: Kathi

AH... While this cover letter is well written, it breaks a cardinal rule by using the word "I" far too much. Everything in the letter is focused only on you and not at all on the company.

I talk a lot about this on this page. Explore the other links there to for more cover letter tips.

Good luck!

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