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Nicole's Resume & Cover Letter Critique Request

by Nicole
(Los Angeles)

COVER LETTER

I am applying for the position of marketing assistant with your company as advertised on
Career Services Port Triton job listings. This position seems ideal for my experience,
education, skills, and career interests and I am eager to contribute my enthusiasm and
teamwork to your organization.

With my 10 years experience working in the fashion and entertainment industry as a fashion model, I have been supplied with exceptional knowledge in a multitude of subjects, as well as established remarkable contacts. My wide range of knowledge in fashion, culture, and media obtained acknowledgment leading me into developing custom client strategies for marketing, PR, news media, and product/brand development for fashion lines.

Since my passion in life has always been centered around fashion and entertainment I am consistently researching and expanding my knowledge, making sure I am always up to date with fashion, art, media, and beauty, through my constant involvement in the latest social media trends and computer research skills.

My ability to develop productive working relationships in all areas of business, combined with my passionate, self starter attitude and flexibility to adapt to an ever changing industry have led me into the public relations field.

I feel that through my 10 years working in fashion and communicating with leading fashion industry professionals, marketing experience and computer skills that I could make an immediate contribution to your team.

I would like to schedule an interview and discuss this opportunity with you farther. My contact number is (555) 555-5555. Thank you very much for your consideration and I look forward to speaking with you.

RESUME
EMPLOYMENT OBJECTIVE
A position in the fashion industry with a dynamic fashion-forward company where I can apply my unique combination of fashion and social trend knowledge and product/brand development experience. A position that will benefit from my 10 years of experience in the fashion industry as a fashion model, and allows me to utilize my social relation skills and research abilities to produce fresh marketable ideas.

STRENGTHSSKILLSABILITIES

  • 10 years in the fashion and entertainment industry giving me proven knowledge in all areas of fashion, culture, and media.

  • Experience in developing marketing initiatives for clients in beauty, music, and fashion industries.

  • Worked closely with public relations and varied media to develop brand recognition and ensure optimum exposure.

  • Highly experienced in working and communicating with leading fashion industry professionals in design, retail, and manufacturing.

  • Consistently utilizing media relations to maximize knowledge in fashion, social, and beauty trends.

  • Participates actively in the latest social media trends to stay informed in the contemporary market.

  • Ability to develop productive working relationships in all areas of business; team player.

  • Technically savvy

  • Passionate and motivated self-starter.

  • Flexible with the ability to adapt readily to the ever changing demands of the job.

  • Organized

  • Creative writing skills


WORK HISTORY
Hughes Kelly Vision, Los Angeles Ca, (11/2007-1/2009)
  • Worked with CEO in designing custom client strategies for marketing, public relations, news media, product/brand development, product placement, and event based experiences for multiple clothing lines.

  • Worked side by side with news media in developing strategies to market multiple brands.

  • Analyzed and developed budget for marketing materials and travel arrangements.

  • Organized meetings with potential clients.


Pat Arias, Beverly Hills Ca, (2/2005-2/2006)
  • Managed store operations with key-holding responsibilities; opened and closed store.

  • Managed purchasing and inventory for high-end merchandise.

  • Provided floor sales assistance with extensive product knowledge.


Next Model Management, Los Angeles Ca, Fashion and commercial model
Stars Model Management, San Francisco Ca, Fashion and commercial model
Mot Models, London, Fashion and commercial Model

EDUCATION
Bellevue College, Bellevue WA, (2000-2002) Associates of Arts and Sciences degree 3.5 GPA

OTHER INTERESTS AND PASSIONS
Volunteer for the Venice Boys and Girls Club, drawing, painting, writing, learning, fitness, dance, horses, world traveler, hiking, basketball, and surfing.

Comments for Nicole's Resume & Cover Letter Critique Request

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Nov 02, 2015
Rating
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Resume NEW
by: Woodrow Keaney

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Nov 02, 2015
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Thanks NEW
by: Melania Dawes

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Jun 09, 2015
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Jul 17, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Overall, Great Job, But...
by: Kathi

Nicole... This is a great first effort! Some of your wording in the second paragraph of your cover letter is awkward and hard to follow. I suggest a rewrite to clarify what you're trying to say.

The resume is great, but I think it would benefit from stronger action words in some areas. For instance, the first bullet under Hughes Kelly... I'd say "Collaborated with CEO" rather than worked. Just sounds more proactive. On the second bullet, I'd reword it to say, "Developed strategies to market multiple brands in conjunction with news media".

Under Pat Arias, I'd reword the final bullet to say something like, "Used extensive product knowledge to contribute to floor sales". And I'd reword one of your first 2 bullets so they don't both start with the word "Managed".

Otherwise, looks great!

Best success,
Kathi

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